counting the days. literally.

I didn't think it would be this bad, this soon. My last day in Omaha is Thursday, August 2nd. I'm officially at the end of this project. I'm not necessarily happy, but I'm not necessarily sad either. I guess ambivilent is a good word.

I like the people here - very much. In fact, I have a little nerd-crush on one of the guys I'm working with, and I'd probably marry one of the others if he'd have me. All 4 of the guys have been really great and fun to work with, and I'm nearly equally fond of all of them (except for the whole lust factor with my nerd-crush boy). I'm a little sad that I'm leaving them. But, it's Omaha. Nebraska. Flat, dry, humid, nasty Nebraska. Blech. Makes me want to go home to the lovely, green, temperate Pacific Northwest.

I like the project. It's been relatively easy, and they've been impressed with how well it's gone. Of course, I'm now in the documentation phase, which is my least favorite part. I keep swearing I'm going to do this part sooner, but it never works out that way - too many re-writes to keep track of. So that's making me want to run away.

I miss my kids. Badly. I have to force myself not to think about them, which makes me feel a little cold and heartless, but it's the only way I can get through this. I can't even write about it any more right now. That makes me want to get on a plane - .right. now.

I have a new job waiting for me - but the pay SUCKS. Yes, that's in all-caps for a reason. Truly, it's scary. I'm taking a massive cut in pay. Massive. Like, nearly 50%. Yeah, you read that right. A cut the likes of which I can't wrap my little brain around. I understand the trade-off - I get to be home all the time. Problem is, I also have to take on side projects to prevent turning off things like satellite service and internet access. And eliminating everything else in our lives that isn't a utility, house payment, or groceries. Oh, and credit card payments. Yikes.

So, I'm torn. I like the money that comes with being a contractor, but not the gamble that involves traveling to regions of the country best left to corncobs and people who regularly spell the name of their state backwards to moniker their buildings and businesses.