searching for words

030:365@42
Originally uploaded by the*redhead

Is it possible to be a little bit devastated?

I'm trying really, REALLY hard not to be, but ... it's not working out so well for me.

I can't let it go, and I can't make it make sense in the larger scheme of things. It's just so ... out of character. And it's making me wonder things that I should not be wondering. And I'm having a hard time reconciling what I think I know with what I heard.

I've decided, though, to write it down, and then let it go. And hope that I'm horribly, terribly wrong about it all. And that I'll go back and look at what I wrote and be honestly able to tell myself that it was a one-time thing. Because I'll never have to add to the list. It won't become a list, just a one-off. And then I'll sigh in relief and remember how silly I acted over nothing.